Tuesday, September 20, 2016

让心自由

好久没写部落格,今天回来看了看dashboard, 发现很多人已经没写网志了。
我回来干什么?
仅仅因为这还算是自己的空间。
是自己对着空气说话也罢,或让无意网溜到这里的人看看也没关系。

今年过的好吗?
很好!可以更好。
去年是疗养年,一切改变有序。
今年断了药,靠自己重新出发。
生活不容易,但至少心不再生病,一切都还能应付。

病后的自己变了。
虽然死骨头里还是有点儿固执执着,但感觉自己看开了很多事。
认清了自己重要的事与物,其他人或事都不重要。
相信自己,主宰自己。

很多时候是我们把事情弄得复杂了。
爱很简单,生活也可以很简单。
我们与最爱的人都有共同的想法。
“只希望你真的快乐,幸福。“

阿德勒心理学家说的:
“我们并不是为了满足他人的期望而活。“
只要不辜负自己,无憾就对了。
放手,让自己的心自由。

Friday, January 01, 2016

2015, A Wonderful Year

You may not be able to imagine how and understand,
2015 was indeed a great year for me.

It was a year to put myself together.
Picking up the small pieces of me and put it at the right place,
where I used to be.

It was never easy, but the changes were great.
I speak more, laugh more.
Active and more confident.
More effective.
More patience.
Optimistic.
Less tear and fear.
At least I don't feel lost and helpless like I used to be in the past two years.

I didn't dream big but only want to be simple and happier.
I did it.
Just do it.
There is nothing to be fear of.
Just trust yourself and don't blame yourself if thing goes wrong,
because you have given your best and tried.

I was glad that I had made that call,
what happened next was wonderful.

An exhibition in KLCC and a product briefing session to about 600 guests in Sabah were my best achievement of the year. Which also signed my success in my own war - depression.

I won.
I am more than whom I used to be.
Much better now.

What is next in year 2016.
Again, I didn't dream big but to pamper myself more.

Last year, I put inner me in shape.
This year, I want to put myself in shape.
Yes, 2016 - A Slimmer Me.

ARCHIDEX 2015



Le Viano Be Bold Night, Sabah | Be Bold Party at CEO | Be Bold Party at Red Box | Revamp of second brand logo and catalogue 





Monday, September 21, 2015

Turning Points

There were a few times I thought I finally reached at a turning point where I'd walked out from my dark shelter.
Yes, I did.... However it only lasted for a few days, I restored in gloomy mode.

I struggled a lot, looking for answers and solutions.
I thought it was late 20's crisis that hit me, but my feelings told me it's worse.

Yesterday you felt motivated because your superior told you, she sees potential in you.
But today, you don't.
You lost that motivation even you remember every word from your superior.

Yesterday you felt extremely happy and proud over your small accomplishment.
But today, you don't.
There always a negative thought would occupy your mind that makes you feeling guilty.

You speak less, being quiet, not trusting yourself, always lost yourself and find no comfort zone to calm your brain, your heart, etc.

There were Sundays I washed my face with tears, starting meaningless fights with my love ones, doing nothing but lying in bed with YouTube and dramas. I didn't know what would make me feel happy and satisfy.

Until one day, when I got angry over the rain drops outside my house for no reasons.
I told myself, I am.
I am sick, and I need proper treatment.
Let doctor tells me what had happened and how can I overcome this.

The result was, yes.
It was depression, though not the serious case.
Then I realise, depression is science, which my own will power no longer can help me through the darkness but medication.

Depression is nothing to be shamed of, it is science and curable by doctor's prescription.
All you need is to be patient and live at the moment to see the changes in you.

Today is September 21, and my first appointment with doctor was in January 11.
How is it?


I am back!

Sunday, February 08, 2015

I was vs I am

I was aggressive, I am not.
I was ambitious, I am not.
I was resourceful, I am not.
I was energetic, I am not.
I was demanding, I am not.


I liked to make new friends,
I liked to attend gathering,
I am now a bit anti social.
I only stick to my family, my boy friend, my best friends.

I feel lighter.
However, I am still not the one I used to be.
Please, give me strength and positive energy.
I miss the old me.
Please....

Friday, January 16, 2015

Reborn in 2 months

Loss of appetite.
Not motivated.
Fear, not adventurous.
Indecisive.
Lack of confidence.
Feeling guilty, worthless, useless.
Tired, exhausted.
Backache.
Tearful.
Not excited, lifeless.
Can't concentrate.
Slowed down.
Anxiety.
Can't organised.
No self esteem.

All will be gone in / within 2 months.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

认输或许会得到更多

情绪不稳定,时好时坏。
工作虽然不顺利,可是忙到没时间低落。
我都搞不清楚原因了。
别人会比自己更清楚吗?
真的会旁观者清?

很累。
堆积如山的事,有些真的不知从何下手,有些恨之入骨。
我累得变迟钝了。
我累得什么都不想做。
听说放假充电可以帮助提高工作效率。
我也想放长假。
很想放下所有烦人的事物,彻底休息。

过去一年里,我没 update blogger。
一, 没灵感
二, 没心情
三, 过去一年的 post 都写负面的事, 负面的 posts 可能会影响人际关系和事业。

那现在呢?
担忧情况“三”是合理,可是现在的我什么都不管了。
豁出去!
管他怎么想我,我只要做好本分, 尽力就好。
最重要是活得快乐点。
毕竟不是每个人了解或理解什么是情绪病或忧郁症。
尽管影响人际关系或事业,我不相信天底下没有我容身之处。

也许情绪又失控了。
不过我相信,如果能跨过这关,我会得到更多。



Tuesday, January 13, 2015

正能量的泉源

昨天发了脾气。
家人和男朋友都遭殃。
问题没解决,我变得更爱撒娇。

父母的溺爱让我觉得万分地幸福。
今天刚运动完就接到爸爸的电话。
简单的对话,满满的关怀。
我真的很幸福。

我说:“你们给我很多正能量!”

真的,除了父母。
没人懂得如何给我那股力量。

因为感到满满的爱,万分幸福,心不那么难过了。

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

My first Basic Instincts Personality Test

I did a personality test almost a year ago.
My result was unbelievable odd from others.
It seems like almost impossible but somehow it was right.
Yes, it described me.

There are 4 animals represent different traits of personality - St Bernard, Lion, Fox and Monkey. My friends around me, all of them have the highest score which can describe their personality. My result? I scored evenly in all category.

What does it mean?
难听一点,你没性格。
好听一点,你彷徨中。

Lost.
Who are you?
What you want to be?
I don't have answer for this, even it is a simple question.

Advice from a person I respect:
Determine a personality trait for yourself, what a person you want to be.

My concern:
Really? I can choose a personality trait which I like and suit me?.... Yes and no, I guess.

Anyway, no harm to try.
St Bernard, Lion, Fox or Monkey?